Whether you believe or not...

Today is such a happy day for me. It is my daughters 4th birthday. I know every parent feels happy on this day, but for me it's extra special. Even though October 18th is Zoe's Birthday...It is also my "re-birth" day. If you spent the time to read my "about me" section, you would know that I can no longer carry a child. Well I'll start from the beginning...

I went in to the hospital on October 17th around 6:00pm for a "normal" induction, and planned on having a regular vaginal delivery. Early in the morning of October 18th it became apparent that I was not going to have the easy delivery I had hoped for. I began having very intense contractions earlier than expected, had to undergo 2 epidurals, and began pushing around 4:00pm. Because of the way Zoe's head was positioned, my uterus was acting as a rubber band, and as soon as I would push, she would get sucked back in. The nurses tried everything they could think of to get her to come out, but it wasn't possible, and her heart rate started to show the effects of distress. So my doctor ordered a C-Section immediately and I was rushed in for delivery. 

 At 8:32 my beautiful healthy daughter was born. Daddy cut the umbilical cord and followed the nurses up to the maternity ward to get her cleaned up and fed, while the doctors worked on stitching me up. Well, that's not exactly what went down... the last thing I remember is seeing Zoe, kissing her, and giving my teary eyed proud husband a kiss, and then everything went dark.

 I woke up the next day in the ICU, tied to the bed, with a breathing tube down my throat, and a large IV hooked up to the major artery in my neck. When my husband left with Zoe, apparently I continued to bleed out, and doctors could not control it. They removed my uterus as a last stitch effort to save my life, and they did. I underwent 2 full blood transfusions, and they were able to stabilize me. Thank God. When I awoke the next morning I had no idea what had happened. I was scared, confused, and very upset. As the trauma subsided, I began to remember the "dream" I had during all of it. I remember flying feet first all over the place in the hospital. I could see the ceiling lights speed by as I flew all over the hallways, and saw blurry figures of doctors and nurses as I sped by at incredible speed, and then everything went dark. I remember being incredibly cold, and seeing this tiny light in the distance, I could feel the warmth in my body as I got closer and closer to this light. When I was about half way to it I remember hearing a mans voice who sounded very much like my grandfather who was passed away. He said to me word for word "what are you doing here? this isn't right, where is your baby?" and that's it. The next thing I remember is waking up and looking like the picture below (minus the breathing tube) Whether you believe in this stuff or not. I'm reminded of these events every year on this day. It's a beautiful HAPPY day for me. I was given a second chance at life, and a chance to watch my child grow more and more every year.

Happy Birthday my love, and thank you for saving my life :*)